Babies Are Boring

That’s right. I said it. Babies are boring, at least some of the time, and I believe any mother who says she has never had this thought is either lying or crazy. I adore my son. Really, I’m arguably too obsessed with him sometimes. He can just look at me a certain way that makes me wonder what in the world I ever did to deserve such perfection, but, let’s face it: he doesn’t know anything about pop culture or current events, and he’s just so predictable. We’ll start with a little peek-a-boo. Then it’s time to dump everything out of the toy bin. Then he moves on to pulling every book off the bookshelf one at a time. Then he’s ready to be taken to the next room to play peek-a-boo, dump things out of bins, and pull things off the shelves. Repeat until nap time. Honestly, I believe the real reason parents get excited when their babies learn something new is not just that we’re relieved to see developmental progress, it’s largely because it means we can throw something else into the mix. He can clap his hands on command now??? Wow! Finally, something other than peek-a-boo! Clap those hands, Cal!


I spent months on the floor of Calvin’s nursery trying to come up with new things to do with him. I’d read a book for the 64th time, but I’d change my voice – make it funny, make it a song, etc. I’d try to get into his head any play whatever little games he played, but I just can’t make shaking an elephant rattle excite me the way it does him. Finally, I decided that I really just needed to get off the floor and get out of the house. I don’t need makeup. I don’t need clean hair. I just need to put on a bra and go. Where did I go? Target, of course. I certainly shouldn’t need to explain why that was a problem. Did he need another toy? Did I need another face mask? Did either of us need new books? Nope. What about the glittery pumpkins to put out in the fall? Did we need those? Absolutely not. Did we buy all of those things anyway? Of course. It’s Target.


I’ve made it my mission these past two months to keep both Calvin and myself entertained without holding myself prisoner in his room or mindlessly spending money at Target, and I’ve come up with a few tricks:


  • First, I’ve discovered that our local Parenting magazine always includes family friendly events coming up in our area. You can also Google kid-friendly event calendars for your area. There are so many cute festivals, farmer’s markets, and gatherings you’d never know about otherwise, and most of them are free!
  • The library and local book stores also have a ton of fun, free events and activities for kids of all ages. Calvin especially loved last week’s dramatic reading of Jane Eyre.
  • We’re getting a lot of use out of our zoo pass. I pack all our snacks and drinks in a diaper bag, so the day doesn’t cost anything extra. Calvin loves to watch the animals and other kids, and I get my steps in. Win-win. We plan to get Aquarium passes when the Florida heat starts getting oppressive again.
  • I took the deepest of breaths and finally let Calvin go to the little playground at the mall a few weeks ago, and he LOVED it. Can anyone explain to me why everything is so sticky there? Actually, don’t. It’s best I don’t know. After I doused him in organic, baby-friendly hand-sanitizer, took him home, and gave him a bath, I realized that he actually survived all the germs. He didn’t even get so much as a sniffle. He’s been back since then, and I started taking him to our neighborhood park to go in the baby swings. He puts his mouth on the chains, which makes me cringe all over, but I just try to focus on how much better this is than another round of bookshelf demolition.
  • Sometimes, I just don’t want to put on that bra, and that’s ok too. I like to challenge Calvin to learn one new thing each week. I like to teach him little dance moves that make us both laugh. Sometimes I read an article or a chapter from a novel to him. He doesn’t know the difference, and I feel like I’m part of society for a minute.


I think it’s important to accept that it’s okay to find your baby a little boring sometimes. It’s okay to give yourself a little slack and not feel guilty when you just don’t feel like playing yet another round of “tickle monster” or staring at your baby while he plays with his feet. Going out with your baby doesn’t have to be an expensive or time-consuming production. Just go out for one hour and see how it changes your moods. And staying home with your baby doesn’t mean you have to accept everything he chooses to do. Redirect him to something you think is cute and funny. And when all else fails, put on your favorite playlist and have a dance party because nothing brightens my day more than when Cal and I get down to Queen Celine’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.”


Have fun out there,



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